Murder Can Singe Your Old Flame: A Desiree Shapiro Mystery
by Selma Eichler
(Signet, NV, $5.99) ISBN 0-451-19218-4
**
Murder Could Singe Your Old Flame is a fascinating title for a murder mystery setting up high expectations, but the book was a considerable disappointment. Wouldn't any woman love to find her sleazy, two-timing ex-boyfriend in trouble with the law, suspected of murder, and watch him writhe and burn? Not Desiree Shapiro, a New York P.I., who decides to work for her old flame proving his innocence even though he is a lying, cheating low-life. Not only is this book written in the first person, but the reader has to be in Desiree's stream of consciousness page after page – a slow and drawn-out form of torture.

Bruce Simon (Desiree's scumbag ex-boyfriend) is newly married to Cheryl, a flight attendant based in New York. Just months after their marriage, Bruce leaves for work one morning. His wife leaves after him and is hit by a subway train. When the police come to his office to inform him of her death, Bruce tells them Cheryl has flown all over the world and not been harmed, but now she has been run over by the A Train. The police hadn't mentioned a specific train, but unluckily for Bruce, it was the A Train, and Bruce, with no alibi, was close to the scene of the crime at the time of the murder.

To further complicate his life, the police talk to the couple's neighbors and learn that Bruce and Cheryl had had a huge argument a week before her death. Cheryl, it seems, was Bruce's second wife, and both wives died a week after colossal fights, although his first wife committed suicide following their divorce. The accumulation of evidence and the many coincidences provide the police with a good circumstantial case against Bruce; he is their favorite suspect.

Bruce begs and cajoles Desiree into investigating Cheryl's murder in order to remove him from the top of the suspect list. He is convinced the motive for Cheryl's death involves something she had witnessed during her regular flight to the Bahamas. He hasn't told the police this theory because he thinks they won't believe him.

Cheryl had told Bruce that the pilot had pointed out a Colombian drug dealer, El Puerco (the Pig) at the airport and, later the same day, she had seen El Puerco with one of her co-workers exchanging satchels. She didn't want to tell Bruce who this person was until she was sure of her facts, but he knew it was one of the five crewmembers: the pilot, co-pilot, or one of the three flight attendants. Desiree sets off to interview them all.

The ultimate folly occurs near the end of the book. Because Desiree has no concrete evidence to hand over to the police, she decides to phone the killer, set up a meeting, and confront that person about the crime. Since she has no proof, she idiotically assumes that the killer will not regard her as a threat. In fact, Desiree is so sure of her safety that she tells no one, takes no weapon, carries no tape recorder, and doesn't consider a back-up plan. It is incredible that Desiree makes a living as a sleuth and has remained alive with such a lack of common sense or aptitude for self-defense.

Perhaps the best ending for this story would have been if Desiree had stuck to her guns and fired Bruce as she threatened to do halfway through the book and ended it right then and there.

--Monica Pope


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