Certifiably Insane by Arthur W. Bahr
(Berkley, $6.99, V) ISBN 0-425-18221-5
****
The opening scene of Certifiably Insane is certain to command your attention. Janice Jensen, wife of New York Police Department cop Dennis Jensen is found sitting cross-legged on the carpet in her living room, bathed in blood. She is calmly eating grapes one by one as her husband lies dead on the couch and her infant son is dead in his crib. The police officers who discover her can elicit no response, prompting them to think she is completely crazy.

Simon Rose, a forensic consultant, is asked by his good friend, criminal lawyer Kate Newhouse to evaluate her client Janice Jensen as to her competency to stand trial for the murder of her husband and son. Simon, still trying to come to grips with the suicide death of his wife many years ago tries to refuse. Kate, confined to a wheelchair due to injuries suffered at the hands of an abusive husband, has her own cross to bear. She makes this request at the insistence of her client, who has specifically asked that Simon do the evaluation. When Simon goes to interview Janice, he learns why.

Simon realizes that he knows Janice. In fact, he went to high school with her, and, was, for a time, smitten by Janice’s good looks and intelligence. Realizing his personal acquaintance with the client, Simon tries to sign off the case, but Janice, using her feminine charm, and a healthy dose of guilt, prevails, and Simon does his evaluation. Janice is able to plead not guilty by reason of insanity. After six months of therapy at a mental facility, Janice is deemed stable enough to return to society. Now the fun really begins!

After reading the publisher’s note that the author died shortly before the final draft of the novel was completed, I approached this book with mixed emotions. If I liked it, I would never have more books from this author to look forward to.

Initially, I was struck by Mr. Bahr’s obvious command of the language. A short example-“ Will offered me a dead salmon to shake and a few empty words of welcome. His skin sagged like a poorly tailored suit. He sat biting the blond hairs off the back of his hand.” He also has a unique way of introducing his characters to the reader that provides a pleasant change from the usual fare. Their backgrounds are revealed little by little tempting the reader to guess about them. For instance, Kate is presented arriving at Simon’s home in her specially equipped van. We gradually learn the reason for the van. Kate is confined to a wheelchair, and, much later, discover how she lost the use of her lower body.

Once all the characters are introduced, there is considerable discussion of psychiatry and mental stability, not only of the client, Janice, but also Simon, Kate, and Debby, Simon’s adopted teenage daughter. This interlude slows down the pace of the action by an order of magnitude, and, one wonders if the rest of the book will be a fictional treatment of personality quirks and disorders. Do not be dismayed! The author is laying the groundwork for events that follow. A satisfying conclusion awaits the careful, patient reader.

A few minor points were a source of some irritation. Simon’s golden retriever, Tupelo, is an important part of his life. I can live with that. My dog is important to me. Simon talks to his dog as if he she were human, but so do I. However, when Simon talks, Tupelo answers in complete sentences with well expressed thoughts. All dogs have feelings and often appear to read your thoughts. They rarely answer back in such eloquent language. I’m also not sure Simon’s daughter’s love life needs to be discussed in such great detail. It does provide a reason for her to be away from home and a source of some anxiety for Simon, but not in as much detail.

Certifiably Insane is a worthwhile book. Character presentation and development are the major selling point for the novel. The ending, while not unexpected or unpredictable, is satisfying, providing some relief to the tension to which a number of characters were subjected.

--Andy Plonka


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